Society vs mental illness

It is hard for people who have never experienced madness to understand what is going on, what it is all about and indeed how best to help that person.

First of all it is something that requires a lot of intervention, and specialist intervention too. We have been cast out in the past, but you cannot wish us away; not accept any responsibility for being part of the society that caused the problems in the first place. It could even amount to individual responsibility for causing emotional and personal trauma in another. If someone suffers emotionally in tribal societies for example, the whole tribe gets together to discuss the problems, they sit down and the first question they ask is what have we done to have caused distress for this person. Rather than cast us out, vilify us, reject us, why not take a good look at yourselves and also look at what we have endured through living in this unbalanced and degrading world we live in?

The sort of intervention necessary when someone is emotionally distraught and they have no knowledge themselves that they suffer from bouts of madness, is to get them to a safe place, somewhere away from the environment where they are suffering unbearably in. Then yes, there may well be a role for some theraputic medication, but in no way should this be the be all and end all of treatment. As it has been discovered already, talking is of paramount importance and time and effort should be put into this activity. Education is pivitol too, teaching people about what the symptoms of madness are, help that person accept it. Then there is art and craft; providing an outlet for the upset and trauma and a medium for communication ( something that I will be going into more depth with in a future post).

There is much talk about 'recovery' and I want to be absolutely clear about this because it was not a term invented by profesionals although they were quick to jump on the bandwagon with all that it mean't to them. For profesionals, mainly senior management it mean't effectively ceasing all treatment and resources for the mentaly ill, a denial even that they had anything that was different about them, apparently we are no different to anyone else now. Funny that, how come we feel, act and behave differently then? Service users invented the term 'recovery', it was a way they had come to understand their difficulties, and the transition they had made from sanity to madness, a way they could hook onto their past and recover an identity that would not render them as useless, second class citizens, written off of and out of society completely.

We wanted to be part of mainstream life ( who doesn't) but of course we are different, just as deaf people are deaf, blind people are blind, learning disabled have a learning disability, we are mentally ill. Once you have crossed that line into insanity, most of us will experience it again and for those who only have it once ( it is very rare) they never ever forget it although in order to fit into to mainstream society they expertly cover it up, however that memory and the pain will never leave.

Madness, or mental illness is not about loss of or lack of intelligence, it has nothing to do with intelligence, there are many people with learning difficulties who also suffer with insanity due to the frustrations they have. There are also highly intelligent people who suffer it. Insanity is not about intelligence, it is an emotional disorder, emotional deficit or emotional over load. Being broken emotionally is life changing and very serious, in fact none of us ever recovers as such, none of us ever can become 'normal' again, that is a person who has no knowledge of what insanity is like. Once broken, or insane, you are a changed person, permanently changed and more vulnerable. A vulnerability that stays with you for life.

I know it is very hard for the mentally ill to accept that they are vulnerable as sometimes they feel they have extra strength and are opposite to the perception of vulnerable, they feel themselves to be strong. Now of course we are strong, but we are also vulnerable. Every breakdown is unique and every persons experience of madness is unique to them and on each occasion. Therefore I thought the best way to attempt to explain how we are vulnerable is to describe it in myself.

It is not easy, but here goes ... I am highly suspicious of others, we could go into what caused this or even just accept that it might be something I was born with; a personality trait if you like. Anyhow I am also inquisitive, sensitive and intelligent and they might be good traits to have, but couple that with a highly suspicious nature and you get explosions, outbursts and misunderstandings. Medication plays its part in subdugation, but the state never fully leaves me. It renders me vulnerable in many ways, but one is that this combination of emotions in extreme tips over to paranoia and I am and become a danger to others. I have never physically attacked anyone ever, but others can sense my unease and it requires intervention from others in order for the pain I am in to be alleviated. I also get very depressed because of this and because I am very sensitive and at times when the depression is accute I am a danger to myself.

There are many people with similar problems, and the way we are, the emotional problems we endure are undoutely exacerbated by the society we live in. The high levels of competiton for example for jobs, housing, qualifications and so on all raise our emotional deficit or overload and make it harder for us to cope, but as I have said before and written about many times over, although we need others perhaps more than people without emotional problems need others, we do also have much to offer life, and if others and society can see and accept what we have to offer, rather than just see us as a problem, it would be for the good of all. Accepting us as we are into mainstream life with all our needs and vulnerabilites would have a very positive effect for us all, for society and for human kind.

Bob Dylan - Maggie's Farm

Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. Its a sin the way you work and I just get bored, I ain't gonna work on Maggies Farm no more.

Jungleland

Here is a musical interlude:- Jungleland, one of my favourite Bruce Springsteen tracks.

I love this one because of the urbanity, all the variety of urban life, our struggles, our tragedies, our love, our laughter, its all here in the song. And of course as ever there is hope, there is always hope and its encapsulated here in the wailing saxophone of Clarence Clemants ( RIP big man).

Beneath the city two hearts beat; soul engines running through a night so tender ... Outside the streets on fire in a real death waltz ... And the poets round here don't write nothing at all they stand back and let it all be. They try and make an honest stand, but they wind up wounded, not even dead, tonight in Jungleland.

We've all been there, we are all from there and we will survive it too.

Sophie in a Straitjacket

Have you ever felt guilty for just being born? For having a roof over your head? Guilty for having community resources, guilty for having ideas, emotions, ambition?

Due to a mental health disability, I am made to feel like I have no rights. No right to say what my needs are, let alone have any of them met.

I have no support with living in my flat where I am and feel isolated.

Why? Can anyone tell me? Why am I being made to feel like a criminal for just being me and living my life to the best of my ability given the circumstances in which I am in?

I like to be creative, so why am made to feel that I ought to get a proper job or do more work than I already do and am capable of?

Its hard to put your finger on what is actually happening to me and people like me in the world today. It can be summed up though as feeling like you're being placed in a straitjacket. Like we should not have any entitlement to do anything at all, just pushed around and gawped at, tormented even.

Our very existence as people with special needs is being denied, we are being denied the right to be ourselves. Expected to be like some fictitious other that exists in the imaginations of high ranking officials and actually bears no resemblance to reality; the reality of who and what we are.

SHOCKING Footage: BBC Presenter Attacks Black Veteran Over London Riots ...

BBC News: Explosive Eye Witness Account - Tottenham Riots, UK

LONDON *IS* BURNING

My Beautiful Cousin Talei

Talei is the one on the left of the above picture facing us, she is the one not wearing the glasses, and is with her friend Jennifer. It was taken not long before Talei tragically died in Jamaica aged 26.

As you can see from these photo's Talei was incredibly beautiful.

She was the youngest of the Jones's, My Mum's brothers youngest daughter, she was doted on by her parents and her other siblings, especially Felix and Leonard, she was their little sister.

They lived all over, my Uncles family, I think Talei was born in Canada, her Mum (my auntie) is Fijian, Talei's parents met in Fiji. They travelled extensively, My Uncle, Talei's Dad had the travel bug and visited an enormous number of countries.

At one time while Talei was growing up, they lived in Quebec in Canada. Talei spoke french fluently from that time ( although she said she later forgot it!). Then the family moved on, they spent a while as Talei was a young teenager in the Bahamas as well as living in a very large house on the Canadian American border. I am not sure of the exact chronology, but Talei and family were true internationalists.

Talei came to Britain when she was fourteen years old, she came here to go to a lovely school in Cranbrook in kent, which is a very nice area. She spent some time during her vacations with my Mum ( her Aunt). Talei was a very helpful girl even as she struggled making the transition from girl to young woman, she was polite and caring while around my Mum's, although it must have been hard for her without her peer group and her immediate family around her, but she coped, in fact she flew through it, her natural intelligence saw her through.

She was very well liked and did well at school, and so she went on to University, the London School of Economics, the LSE, following in her fathers footsteps, and she really took to it, she loved London so much, quite right too, London has so much going on. Soon Talei developed a love for culture and all good things in life. For a while too she was the partner to very upper class and well to do fellows, although neither of those first relationships lasted ( might have been something to do with her love for independence, although that is a guess, we never really discussed her relationships).

Anyway, Talei was proving to be not only incredibly beautiful as a woman but also highly capable, she organised everything for the students she shared digs with, she organised the trips to theatres, other cultural events and also she organised the holidays.

Despite her hectic social life, Talei found time to study and did well gaining a second class honours degree from the London School of Economics, and then as is the case for all young people who finish their degrees; what was next?

She packing in so much, she went to China to teach English to young Chinese children, she did well there, was loved by all and she knew how to make the most of her situation and enjoy herself. But I knew how much she loved London, she would have liked to have stayed and settled there, I know that. But for stupid money, that is what prevented her, she was saddled with debt from being a student, accommodation was difficult and extremely expensive. It is this that really makes me angry, if it hadn't have been so expensive for her to stay here, I am sure she would have done. It upsets me very much.

Talei went travelling and her parents moved to Fiji where her brother Felix, his wife and family were now settled. I honestly lose track of all the places she went to for experience and to work, she was working in Australia when she went travelling to South America, and then her final destination, Jamaica.

Talei as you can gather was amazing, as a child she was very special, she was funny, she displayed an brilliant sense of humour, she could make everyone laugh ( as is often the case for the youngest children) and she was so caring.

Talei was about seven years old when I was seriously ill with a mental breakdown and she was strong around me, she cared and it felt like she was looking after and looking out for me, despite her being so young.

We have lost our youngest, our best, our fittest one. All of her friends have lost one of their most capable, fun loving and caring people they could ever hope to meet.

This pain I am in right now I have never felt before, when Talei died, my life changed. Although I am grieving the loss of Talei, I cannot even begin to say how her death has affected me, it is so huge and too raw at the moment.

I love you so much Talei and I hate money. Rest in Peace lovely, sleep now in the loving arms of Our Father.